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(More customer reviews)I purchased Ted a few years ago as a sarcastic tribute to all the office drones who work around me. I laughed heartily as I hubristically thought to myself, "what mere wage-slaves my office mates are, ha ha ha... Look at them - balding and wearing outdated clothing. That guy even has a comb-over! Who is he kidding?" I'd kick back with a cold one and ruefully think, "I'd sooner be dipped and fried in peanut oil before selling out and knuckling under to The Man!"
Ted sat quietly on my desk for many months, the object of my scorn. As my office grew and resources shifted, I found myself begrudgingly moved to different, and progressively more, mediocre abodes. With each office move, I packed Ted up in his box and changed his title to reflect, absurdly, my changing titles. While his cube's dimensions never changed, mind did. Gone went the faux wood cabinets. So too did the comfortable chair go. Where once a relatively luxurious 7 x 7 office domain sat, now a 5 x 5 corner dwells. I'm not even allowed to hang off color material in my cube, so I hang miniature versions in Teds. Sadly he began to represent my rebellion and derision for cubical life.
As Ted diligently worked at his computer, my increasingly shrinking cubical kingdom gradually began to look like his tiny cube. Never did he complain when his carpet was replaced with a tightly woven multicolored monstrosity that an elephant could puke on and none would be the wiser. When the powers that be took away my upright cabinet, I did the only rational thing, and I took Ted's miniature upright cabinet away. His little world now, paradoxically, mirrors mine perfectly.
Yesterday I looked in the mirror through my thick glasses, that I only used to wear for reading, and observed a pot-bellied middle aged man with thinning hair squinting back at me. I checked my digital wristwatch (which doesn't require the dastardly task of figuring out which hand is which) and discovered that it was time to jump into my low-priced foreign car, with the great gas mileage I might add, to join the rest of the working slobs.
I carefully used my fingers to guide my remaining hair over and around my shiny head. It seems like just yesterday that I had a full mane... yet today I'm just barely pulling off this look off. Sure a wind gust will send my hair back to the side that it originally grew on, revealing the nakedness of my skull - but that's why I use so much gel. Nobody notices thinning hair if you plaster it to one side with gel.....
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The Cubes - TedFinally, the drudgery of corporate life has been captured in a play set for adults! Ted spends eight hours a day, five days a week, at a tiny desk in a tiny cubicle in a giant room packed with countless similar cubicles in a giant building filled with countless similar rooms. Each set has one 2-3/4" (7 cm) poseable plastic figure and all the necessary plastic parts to build a classic corporate cube: four walls, desk, chair, file cabinet, in/out box, phone, and computer. Build one to look exactly like your current workspace or, better yet, construct a whole labyrinth of cubes to make your own miniature office where youa?TMre the boss! Comes with a sticker sheet of decor for your cube, complete with graphs, charts, screens for the computer and pithy office posters. Also includes a job title sticker sheet so you can create a convoluted and meaningless position for your employee.Teda?TMs a team-player, a straight-shooter, a a??go-toa? guy. Ted was working here in the office five years before the office ever even physically existed. He likes to sublimate his venerable status into a fatherly a??buddya? presence, making all the rounds bright and early Monday morning, saying things like: a??Hey, hey, whadayaa?TM say?a? or a??Hey, at least youa?TMve got your health,a? or a??A rolling stone gathers no moss.a? Teda?TMs only emotion is stoic good-natured, borderline maniacal mirth. Ted is the kind of guy that manages to smile resiliently through a life-threatening case of sandwich machine food poisoning.
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